Updated: 02/05/19 | February 5th, 2019
One of my preferred parts about traveling is the capability to satisfy a diverse variety of people.
In hostels, on tours, on buses, sitting at cafés, or at bars, when you travel it’s simple to make new friends. So simple that sometimes you feel like you have buddy overload.
There is always somebody around.
You are never truly alone.
On the road, you likewise discover extremely bit pretense. nobody has their guard up. nobody concerns your motives or wonders what you are after. There is just you — as you are in that moment. A simple hello as well as before you understand it, you are traveling with people for months.
Travel produces chances to satisfy people you wouldn’t provide a second believed to walking down the street. It strips away the artifice as well as lets you walk away with a few of the very best buddies you’ll ever know—friends who will be there your whole life, prepared to pick up right where you left off whenever you occur to satisfy up again.
Yet back home, in “the genuine world”, I frequently discover the opposite. stating hello or engaging strangers in conversation is usually satisfied with a stare. “Why is this person speaking to me? What do they want?” people put up barriers as well as concern motives. nobody is as open as they are on the road.
Once I was house in Boston at a bar with my friends. One night, I was out with my buddies as well as grappling with thoughts like these. across the bar, I saw a guy using a red shirt with a golden star in the front. It’s the Vietnam flag shirt, as well as almost every backpacker in Southeast Asia has it. It’s up there with the Laos beer singlet or the “same exact same however different” shirt. It’s used as a badge of honor. A sign that you’re a member of the travel tribe.
I decided to strike up a conversation.
“Hey man! nice shirt. You backpacked Southeast Asia, right?”
“Yeah, exactly how did you know?”
“I got that exact same shirt in Vietnam too. I just came back.”
“Where did you go?,” he stated ecstatically.
“Everywhere! I was there for almost a year.”
Like two soldiers who discover each other amid a sea of “civilians” who will never comprehend what we’ve been through, we swapped war stories from the road, trying to see where our trips overlapped, what bars we remembered, as well as which locations we each understood the other didn’t. We were playing that immortal game of “I’m a much better traveler because….” We traded stories about “hidden gems” the other one missed, as well as off-the-beaten-path highlights. however though games like these may look competitive, they’re truly affectionate, full of the shared recognition of kindred spirits who share the exact same priorities in life. When I explained my feelings about being back home, he comprehended just what I was going through—he’d been with the same.
After about ten minutes of conversation, I wanted him well as well as went back to my friends, happy to have satisfied somebody who shared my experience as well as comprehended exactly how I was feeling.
“Who was that guy?” my buddies asked.
No, I didn’t understand him. We were just speaking about Vietnam. My friends, perplexed by this, replied with only a word: weird. I had damaged some social rule just by doing what travelers around the world do every day.
Among travelers, there is a specific camaraderie. We comprehend each other. We’re utilized to speaking to strangers. That’s just what you do. So I stopped as well as talked to this guy about backpacking Asia. It’s not frequently you satisfy Americans who have been in the region. I believe I can count on both hands the number of such Americans I’ve met. He was friendly as well as we hit it off. It was almost as if we had traveled together.
Talking to women is even worse. Their very first believed is always “What does this guy want? Is he trying to sleep with me?” I totally comprehend that. most guys, particularly guys at bars, are trying to hit on them as well as take them home. They are sketch balls. An innocent conversation at a bar is never innocent even when it is.
Yet on the travel trail, I have as well as see tons of innocent conversations between the sexes that revolve anything as well as everything. Striking up a conversation with a woman isn’t about a hidden agenda, it’s just about making new friends.
Coming back house to this mindset has been difficult. You’re utilized to the openness of travelers as well as the conversations with perfect strangers. It’s a friendly environment. however back house these circumstances aren’t quickly replicated. Every Sunday, I go to a bar in new York City‘s east village to watch HBO’s true Blood. when after the show was over, I tried speaking to a few of the people. They made little talk however seemed in a rush to get this complete stranger out of their midsts. I got the hint.
Then I believe perhaps it’s me.
Maybe this is in myhead as well as I’m just truly socially awkward.
Maybe I smell.
But when I ask other travelers who are reintegrating into life back home, they say the exact same thing. They speak of the weird looks they get as well as the walls people put up. Readjusting after prolonged time away is already difficult, as well as this just makes it harder.
One of the biggest joys of traveling the world is that it makes you comfortable talking with strangers. It makes you more outgoing as well as more at ease. We get great at making new friends.
Coming house to the opposite way of thinking is quite an adjustment, one I don’t truly like. It’s off-putting. You have to work to break down barriers. people always believe the worst. few people seem thinking about just having a conversation for the benefit of having a conversation.
But perhaps it is situational.
When you are home, you have your friends. You have your group of allies as well as people. You don’t requirement to satisfy anyone knew. We’re so hectic during our week we don’t have time to strike up random friendships that often.
On the road, we have a great deal of time as well as few people. We’re alone out there.
And we’re looking for somebody to pass the time with. To be finest friends, even if just for a moment. in that sphere, of program we’re going to talk to everybody as well as everyone. We have to. We don’t have a choice.
While I comprehend the situational difference, I still desire it was easier to satisfy people back at home. I desire everybody had that traveler openness in them.
But they don’t.
They don’t requirement to.
Nothing is going to modification that.
But, after seven weeks back in America, this method of believing making me long for the road ever more.
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